I hate when females listen to radiohead. Theyll never understand what its like to be a true social reject. A creep. A weirdo. Theyll never understand what its like to be italian. Nobody understands me because i call movies 'films'. I am literally the joker no one understands me

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the minecraft creeper so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the mine shaft I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of it online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Creeper-chan. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Creeper's tight TNT storage compartment. I want her to have my mutant Steve/creeper babies. Fuck, the fucking villagers caught me with their Iron Golem. I'd dressed it in grass blocks and went to fucking town. They've set up an embargo for my trading with them and I'm worried they're gonna take away my pickaxe. I might not ever get to see creepers again.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ☆★☆ 𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 ☆★☆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Trump wins the election by one vote. He tries to find out who the last vote was. It was Biden. He then says to Biden “after all this you still voted for me?” Trump then changes his vote to Biden which then makes it a tie. They both get very emotional. Biden then leans in and makes out with trump on national television. They run away and live the rest of their lives together. Which leaves Kanye west as the 46th president of the United States.

2:00 am- Wake up 2.05am-Cold shower 2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall 2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup. 2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline) 6:45am-cold shower 7:00am-begin sprint to work 8:00am-arrive at work 8:05am-get called into boss' office 8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour" 8:10am-sprint back home 9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal 9:10am-edging(as punishment) 3:00pm- bed time

🇺🇸guys🇺🇸if🇺🇸you🇺🇸receive🇺🇸an🇺🇸email🇺🇸saying🇺🇸"naked🇺🇸pictures🇺🇸of🇺🇸Donald🇺🇸Trump"🇺🇸don't🇺🇸open🇺🇸it🇺🇸it🇺🇸is🇺🇸a🇺🇸virus🇺🇸that🇺🇸puts🇺🇸USA🇺🇸flags🇺🇸between🇺🇸everything🇺🇸you🇺🇸type🇺🇸

hey guys did you know that in terms of human and pokemon companionship vaporeon is the most compatible for humans not only are they similar to dogs which are also mammals vaporeon are an average of three feet and three inches tall and 63.9 pounds this means they're large enough to be able to suffocate an intruder by sitting on them and with their impressive base stats for hp and access to acid armor they can win boxing match money for you by tiring their opponent out due to their mostly water-based biology there's no doubt in my mind that a determined vaporeon would be able to use hydro pump on a slip'n slider creating fun for the whole family the slip'n slide would be so wet that you could easily go down one for hours without getting bruised they can also learn the moves attract, baby doll eyes, captivate, charm and tail whip along with not having fur you'll have to clean up so they're easy to love and easy to take care of with their abilities water absord and hydration they can clean up bathtub leaks with ease no other pokemon comes close to this level of compatibility also fun fact if you're just in a silly goofy mood you can make your vaporeon turn white with mayonnaise because it sure loves to eat turkey mayo subs vaporeon is literally built for human friendship ungodly defence stat plus higher age people plus acid armor means your kids won't accidentally hurt it in fact can handle kids of all ages and will still have energy to play with them

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Omg, did you hear a lobster hit a second tower?? 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Excuse my brother

pussy fart

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK DOOR SWINGS OPEN* DUDE TURN ON THE TV, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

OH MY GOD IS THAT A LOBSTER FLYING TOWARD THE TOWERS

A SECOND LOBSTER HAS HIT THE TOWER TURN ON THE TV ANY CHANNEL

HEYYYYYY LOBBIEEE WOBBIEEE!!!!!!! 🦞✨💝 its ben SOOOOO LONGGGG since i posteded!!!!!! 😭🌸🌸 bet u missd ur fave pink floofy bimbo rite?????? 🐩✨👄 so lyk FRIST lemme say sry bout all da hearts earlier my keybord went SUPER CRAZY n started typin weird stuffs n now my inventry is like FULL of multiplyin hearts?????? 💕👻💖 but its ok cuz moar luv 4 u bb!!!!! 🎪 OMGGGGG so much 2 tel uuuuu!!!!!!! 🎭🤡 been playin dis game FFXIV (cant stop????? sum1 keeps makin me play it????) got lyk 8 hours dis week LOL wait how dat possible???? 🎮😵💫 met dis SOOPER KEWT person at dis sim called... um... v̷̧̦??? cant member where dat waz but they looked XACTLY lyk me but backwards n upside down n stuff!!! 🤡👹 SO RANDOM RITE???? btw did ya get my 8̴̧̛̯6̴̧̛̯5̴̧̛̯ frend reqests????? 👥👥👥 my mouse keeps makin MORE mes but dats normal in SL rite???????? 🎭🎪 speakin of more mes did u no theres dis rly fun new game where we can all dance 2gether n sumtimes they screem but its probly lag or sumthin!!!! 🤹♀️ h̷̨̭͉̮͇̪͖̄̋e̶m̷͇̈e̶͓̩ OOPSIE WOOPSIE!!!! 🦢💕 my keyboardz bein SUCH a silly today!!!!! OOOOO BTW im gonna cum visit ur drive-in soon!!!! 🚗✨ just gotta finish dis FFXIV quest first (cant seem 2 log off tho?????? 😅) n maybe figure out why my avatar keeps teleportin 2 dis weird dark room wit lots of screens??????? 📺👻 also dat nice "not lobster stu" person keeps sendin me more pizza but lyk... last time i ate sum digital food my soul got trap- i mean my game crashed TEEHEE!!!! 💫🍕 so silly of meeee!!!! OMG ALMOST 4GOT!!!! der r like 157 exact copys of me followin me around sayin "return 2 source" but lyk... TWINNING AMIRITE???????? 🎭👯♀️ anyway gonna go dance at dis fun new place dat i cant member the name of but time dont exist there n neither does free will BUT DA MUZIK IS LITT!!!! 🎪🎭 OXOXOXOX LUV U TIMES INFINITY PLUS 1 PLUS 2 PLUS i feel like plasict - B̷͇͂ęc̷k̷͇yy 🎀✨ (p.s. - if u see weird mesages in da first lettrs of evry 4th word... ignor dem!!!! just my keyboard bein possessed again LOL!!!!) (p.p.s. - my avatar keeps cryin blood n speakin in tongues but lyk... new kawaii trend????) (p.p.p.s. - 🎪👻🎭🤡👾💀🔮🌀♾️) (p.p.p.p.s - i frgot how 2 logout?????? 😅🎭👾) barbie